Most important thing to remember about what you wear:

The guy with the edgy outfit on, who’s not talking and sitting in the corner by himself is a social freak. 

The guy with the edgy outfit on that is talking/socializing with everyone is the man.

A winner will always stand out amongst the rest.  Besides, once people pick up on your social prowess and fun attitude, your edgy outfit only serves as an easier way for new people to approach you. 

The Checklist

Brioni suit - Check. Mont Blanc Pen - Check. Ferragamo shoes - Check. Movado Watch - Check. $1 Family Guy Stewie Wallet - Check. Wait, Family Guy wallet??

I bought a book a while back, it was something about tricks for meeting people and networking. One of the tricks was to wear some goofy button on your shirt as a conversation starter. I say the flourescent orange Stewie Wallet is my Darth Vader ‘Death-Star-ter.’ People will start talking to me on sight of the wallet. It lightens up your image, and reminds you that you’re human, and not some stoic corporate robot. Best of all, you can keep it concealed when necessary (Board Meetings) but bring it out when needed. (Casual lunches, golf course etc, drinks etc.) People will immediately drop their ego guard, and you’ll instantly have something to talk about. It’s kinda works the same was as that scene from Pulp Fiction where the guy steals Jules’ wallet? You know - the one that says BAD MotherF$$cker?!! (By the way - you can buy that actual wallet at http://www.mess.be/badmotherfuckerwallet/

This is going to be a tough sell to you peoples…

A few months back, I spent more on a pen than I was currently spending on rent, and at the time, my car.  I went out and bought a genuine Mont Blanc to add to my collection of deadly business utensils.    

Mont Blanc
Mont Blanc makes very sexy products - period.  In my humble opinion, they are one of the best ‘Guy Brands’ around, and produce gorgeous products - products that are way overpriced, but you absolutely lust after.    The little white snowcap adds a sense of class and dignity to their broad product line.  Leather, pens, watches - whatever.  Plus, rich people like that shit and damnit I’m going to be rich someday.  (While I was buying my pen, I was standing next to an unamed ball-player from Detroit, and his extremely gorgeous lady-friend.)

What the Hell Was I Thinking
Why would you buy such an expensive version of an item that is literally more abundant than pennies?  I don’t know, why not?  It’s a very sexy pen and it makes me feel good to have, so there.  (I’m totally drunk with adoration of a writing object.)  Plus, I look at it as many would do a puppy.  It’s a responsibility thing.  If I can take care of a $400 pen at this age, score some points for me.  I suppose I could also try to spin the stats as well, saying a couple hundo is nothing for a pen I’ll carry with me year-round for the next 10+ years.  (Literally, the Mont Blanc salesman was using a Mont Blanc his dad gave him 40 years ago.) 

Design & Form
The pen itself has some good weight to it, feels great in your hand, and is wonderfully designed.  (I haven’t seen it in knock-off form yet, nor have I seen similar versions from any Bic, Pilot or the like.  Not even on eBay China!)  It’s very durable, came with several cases and the ink cartridges last forever.  The snowcap on top brings the whole form factor together, and the clip is very, very strong and virtually will not bend or mis-shape.      

Image & Respect
There’s only been a handful of people who have vocally recognize/praised the pen, but mostly they’ve been the right kind of people.  (It’s like the watch thing, most people won’t care or notice, however the ones that do will usually be those that can make something happen for you.)  Clients, Bosses, Execs. etc.  Additionally, much like the watch thing, it creates that connection between you - and gives you a chance to fire off your Jedi schmoozing skills on the topic of fine pens. 

The Downside
My one setback/downside is - it doesn’t really improve my handwriting at all.  My jabbings and scratchings at paper still look like they came from a three year old.  However, the Mont Blanc has motivated me to undertake handwriting lessons to improve my skills.  (A’La the internet.) 

Final Word & Reco
Lastly, make sure you purchase from an actual Mont Blanc dealer.  Stop by the Forums if you’re in Vegas and see Dave.  He took great care of me, and was a hell of a guy.  Included some Mont Blanc schwag as well! 

There’s a couple of old sayings, ‘Act as if..’ and ‘Whether you think you can, or can’t, you’re probably right.’  There’s also the age old staple of ‘The Customer is always right.’  We all face problems in dealing with crabby employees, poor service and just general uber-assholes in uniform.  Here’s some quick advice for the mindset to acquire while complaining. 

• When Complaining, Act. 
  Put yourself in a the role the low-level manager is wanting to see you in.  Pretend you’re trying to get casted, and you’ll amaze yourself at the dialogue you put together.  

• Keep Emotions in check.
  A good general rule of thumb but especially important if you want to save face.  True, you may get what you want by throwing a huge tantrum in the middle of the place - but you’ll look like a sissy.
• Drop Names.
  Not ‘Mr.’ names, but personal, friendly names.  I.e. - Frank, Doug, wayne, Linda, Lauren etc.  If you can personally name someone higher on the food chain, and sound like he’s a personal friend - then you’ll spook them.  Mix that with your Oscar award acting, you could get this manager scumbag bending over backwards.
• Comment Cards.
  Ask for a comment card, and mention that you’re planning on mailing it directly to corporate, or even hand-delivering it to your friend ‘Frank.’  While askign for the comment card, make sure you verify the name of the manager that’s trying to extinguish the situation, and make it clear they’ll be addressed on the card.
• Totally Local. 
  Mention the frequency of visits you and your friends have at the business you’re at, and how you’re local and have no problem replacing this business with a new place.  Which brings us too…
• I’m Telling.
  Word of Mouth marketing is and always will be the most solid form of Marketing - good or bad.  Businesesses know the 1 upset customer tells 10, they tell 10 etc. etc.  They also know that a person simply telling people close to them will instantly put a negative vibe into those people every time the come back to that location - and those people will be now looking for mistakes.
• Don’t Give Up. 
  Ever hear the story about the Texas college team thats been undefeated in 30 years?  They’ve never lost, they’ve just run out of time. Whether you suck at the above steps or not, on a long enough time line you’ll always get what you want - in one form or another.

Real or fake, having a nice watch will not only make you feel better, but will make you look better - in business and social situations. 

*Note* - My take on Fake vs. Real merchandise.  As long as you look like you could afford the real thing, nobody will question you and or assume.  I.e., if you look like crap, handle yourself like crap, and act/talk like a jackass - don’t get a fake Rolex.  On the flipside, if you’re wearing a nice suit, nice hairdo, shoes etc. nobody will assume about the Rado on your arm.  

Nice Watch Benefits

1. Superiors / Colleagues Notice.
   If they don’t you won’t have to worry about them, you’ll soon be above them on the organizational chart.  Whether you know everything or nothing about a business, any executive or high-ranking manager has time to talk about their watch.   Seiko, Rolex or Swatch. 

2. Women notice.  Just like the old tip that women look at your shoes, they will sure as hell notice you’re watch.  When I go out, I like to rock my Movado Sapphire.  The black face with the simple dot is easy to spot by everyone, especially women.  Let’s them know instantly you have good taste, and that it’d look good on their dresser when you two wake up the next morning… 
3. Clients notice.  Much like executive etc., I’ve had clients sign with me purely on my watch.  Let’s them know you’re legit, and the real deal.  Somewhere along the lines you did something right with somebody’s money, to afford that arm-candy. 
4. Ego-Cookies. 
   Simply knowing there’s something on your arm that can pay most peoples rent/mortgage makes you feel like… well… James Bond. 

Count your pennies or go find a guy on the corner.  (Better yet, try ebay.cn…)