A very important step to success in life is the ability to say ‘No.’  ‘No I will not help you with that,’ ‘No we shouldn’t do it that way,’ ‘No you can’t HAZ CHEEZBURGER.’

 Turning people down is a very hard thing to learn, especially when you’re trying to move up.  I still suck at it greatly.  We were taught at a young age to be positive, work hard and we will succeed.  If our boss or a superior asks you to do something, instinctively we’re taught to jump on the project no matter the insane nature of the request. 

 We quickly learn that the people whom work harder and are more positive seem to just get buried with more work. 

 Me Whining. 

I’m a solutions guy when it comes to my career, Information Technology.  You give me a problem, and I’ll get you the solution.  Even better, give me a problem with little to no resources, and I’ll drool at the mouth.  I love being the hero.  I consider myself a MacGyver of the technical arena, although I’m still working on my epic mullet.   I’ll take a stab at the most ridiculous requests, cause as Mr. Tech MacGyver, you can guarantee my solution will be lightweight, cost-effective and surpass your wants.

 Where has this gotten me?  Well, I look great on paper but I’m not quite the ruthless CEO and /or rich Tech mogul I dreamed I would be.  I have a terrific job, but I’m in the trenches, battling for position.  I see people that have less than a fifth of my skill, virtually no technical ability making quite a bit more.  Why do I whine and where do I want to be – well I have a good friend and mentor that has a similar skill set as I, however he goes to Miami 3 times a month, and spends his other time between Palm Springs, Brazil, Hong Kong and Las Vegas.  This guy knows how to say ‘No,’ and doesn’t BS with meaningless requests/projects.    

 What they need to teach us when we’re young is that being really, really good at something gets you really really stuck at doing what you’re really really good at – unless you act. 

 How To Fix It.

•  Manifest Balls. 
  If you’re a guy, grow a pair.  If you’re a girl, borrow a pair – better yet, strong armed rob a pair.  The business arena is a poker deathmatch – It’s all about being tough, and knowing when to attack.  (There is no retreat.) 
• Consider the Requester
  Is the person you’re helping going to help you in return?  Are they going to be vocal and/or a maven for your success, or are they going to shrug off your efforts as part of your ‘job description.’  Does this requester even have a clue as to what effort you will need to put forth in order to execute their request?
• Pat Your Own Back 
  Be loud and visible.  Whether that means taking charge after you agree to help, or simply being loud and obnoxious – make sure you’re not in the shadows developing. 
• Get Aggressive / More conflict
  Get mean.  Don’t let people take advantage of your skills.  Don’t give your smarts away for free, and in turn make someone else look good.  Get greedy, take the glory for yourself. 

Until then, send me requests for anything, and I’ll gladly say ‘no…’  You know, just for practice. 

NO NO NO NO NO,

–D