I’m plain sick of hearing about the Amazon Kindle.  I like the idea, but it annoys me to hear everyone babble about how innovative it is.  It’s a stinkin’ E-book reader, which is older technology than the Jonas Brothers.  I’m far from sold on it and I firmly believe people who read books like to read BOOKS.  They like to hold them, dog-ear the pages, feel them, smell them and god knows what else.  Owning a book is a way different feeling than getting an electronic version on your oversized PDA.

“But the kindle reads to you” you say.   I say “Meh.”  God forbid you have to actually read the book.  (I’m convinced the comedian Patton Oswalt was onto something in his sketch about the ‘Food gun.’  Fill with food, point at mouth, repeat.)

“But, it’s got a built in dictionary and highlighter!”  Great!!  Isn’t it a monochrome screen?  Effective highlighter dudes!     Built in dictionary you say?  Cool, look up the noun ‘Book.’  See if it mentions the Kindle.

Bottom line, things like this mostly annoy me simply because if I was at the board meeting where this product came up, I would have spit out my water all over my Moleskine journal.  To me, it’s like being at an Microsoft meeting where they propose their new laptop line called the Mc-Book Pros and Mc-Book Air.

Here’s How I Fix It.

Typically, any format the adult industry adopts becomes the eventual winner.  Thus, I present my new business idea - The ‘Skindle.’

1. Full color screen.
2. Suction cups on back.
3. Waterproof / stainproof casing.
4. Tissue dispenser.
5. Shielded display with Emergency Digg.com button.

(Touch-screen display coming version 2.)

Perv’s around the world can now ditch their laptops when they’re on the go.  The Suction cups allow you to stick your Kindle to any solid surface, so you can free up your hands to do whatever it is you like to do.  The Tissue Dispenser is great for….

I could go on, but I’d like this blog to keep its PG-13 rating.  Regardless, you get the idea.  Post your brainstorming ideas below!

Kindle = Failboat Cruse.
Skinidle = Epic Win.

–D

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