How To Kick A Cougar’s Ass in 2 Steps.
There is an simple, ancient technique that can give you the power to wail on any animal, and dominate any environment - hostile or friendly.
First off, I can’t take full responsibility for giving you the power to take on a cougar, as centuries ago I think some Shaolin guy scribed it. In fact, let’s just say it was Sun Tzu. Wikipedia it if you want to be a Dick. Also, I have to give props to Carlos Xuma for bringing this technique to my attention as well. So props Carlos.
Here we go, get out your pens and papers, voice recorders, PDA’s and Red Bull. The information is going to come fast and hard, just like a cougar - minus the teeth.
- Visualize yourself fighting the Cougar.
- Repeat.
Alright class dismissed…
Just kidding.
The power lies in step one. Picture yourself fighting the Cougar, and more importantly losing to the Cougar - over and over. After losing the fight in your head, repeat the fight and see if you can figure out ways to counter the Cougar’s Kung-Fu. Basically, if you visualize yourself fighting the Cougar enough times, eventually you will have mentally prepared for any scenario that could happen during the fight, thus allowing you to Pwn the cougar Chuck Norris style.
One of the old mental tricks to approaching women, or making a business contact etc. is to ask yourself ‘Whats the worst that can happen.’ Will she laugh at me, will the guy blow me off etc. This loosely follows the same belief however it allows you to re-orchestrate the scenario in your head, to ensure the worst won’t happen. If she says/does this, I can reply/do this etc. You’ll be prepared for the worst, but can readily re-engineer it to the best.
Personally, I suck at this. Sort of. I could do it a lot more than I do, and be far more successful by doing so. In situations where I have done this, it works. Whether it be general or specific. (i.e. I’m on a plane, hot stewardess/passenger - How do I run this interaction to get me into the mile-High club…)
Try it out, it really does work - just don’t start with fighting a Cougar please.
